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Thursday, April 10

Today’s Lectionary Readings: Psalm 73; Daniel 5:1-12; John 17:1-11; 1 Peter 3:13-17; Psalm 101

I had a conversation with a friend named Sharon yesterday that reminded me of a piece of my spiritual journey. In a conversation about spirituality, Sharon said: “I struggle to connect with some political activists because it seems like they are full of bitterness and anger.” I smiled when she said that and then proceeded to share a bit of my story. “Well, I can’t speak for them,” I said, “but I can let you know why I was that way for my first 30 years. You see, over the course of my first 30 years I was struggling to come to terms with myself as a gay man. In the midst of these struggles I developed a survival mechanism for myself. I decided on some level that since I wasn’t feeling capable of dealing with my issues that I would then unleash my energy outside – on the real world. I figured if I could fix them (i.e. get rid of homophobia) then maybe – just maybe - I could find some of the joy and peace that had proven so elusive to me over the years. Around the age of 30 I realized that I had reversed the order: I started trying to fix the external world when I should have started by attending to my internal world first. So I did that; I started focusing on the own healing work that I needed to do. And guess what? I started experiencing some of the joy and peace I had sought after for so long. And with that new sense of peace and joy that I personally felt, I was able to head back to the real world and start working on the problems that were there from before. The only difference was this time I wasn’t trying to “fix the world” out of anger or frustration; this time I was trying to “heal the world” out of a place of love and compassion.” Today’s second Psalm – Psalm 101 – reminded me of yesterday’s conversation. That’s because the Psalm starts out by stating: “My theme song is God’s love and justice, and I’m signing it right to you, God.” Then just one sentence later the psalmist captured my experience around the age 30 when he wrote: “I’m doing the very best I can, and I’m doing it at home, where it counts [emphasis added].” So where are you in your journey toward justice? Are you trying to fix those things outside yourself first in hopes of eventually achieving inner health and wholeness; or are you committed to developing a rich inner spiritual life – a life from which peace, justice and grace will flow out to the world and bring it a taste of health and wholeness? Til next time…

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