Today’s Readings: Psalm 8; Ecclesiastes 3:1-13; Matthew 25:31-46; Revelation 21:1-6a
One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older is that you cannot make someone do something until they are truly ready to do it. They might do what you ask initially, but in order to make a lasting change the individual involved has got to be ready to commit to the action him/herself before that change can become lasting. Two examples of this come to mind. I’ve been involved with countless friends and parishioners who smoke. I’ve begged and pleaded with them to stop smoking (especially ones that have serious illnesses that are complicated by their smoking). In not one instance have my pleas for change worked. The smokers had to be ready to quit before they could actually quit. Same thing goes with individuals involved in abusive relationships. I’ve encouraged folks in these relationships to leave their abusive spouses/partners. Once again, the individuals were unable/unwilling to leave their spouse/partner until they were ready. I was reminded of this basic truth as I read today’s passage from Ecclesiastes that talks about there being a time for everything. That passage is a huge challenge for me because it suggests two things that I hate to hear: (1) the time tables involved aren’t mine, and (2) there is a time for things that I wish wouldn’t happen (i.e. “a time to destroy”, “a time to part”, “a time to let go”, and “a time for war”). All of these statements are brutal reminders that life isn’t about me. Today, many of you might be tempted to sit down and create a long list of resolutions for the New Year in hopes that you can force it to be a time to make some of these long-delayed behavioral changes. In a few days or weeks, however, you might become frustrated by how many of these resolutions have already fallen by the wayside. If that’s been your pattern over the years, instead of putting all of your energy into creating the list of resolutions; spend some of that time in prayer and discernment asking, “Is this the time for me to … [and you can fill in the blank here for youself].” Til next time…
One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older is that you cannot make someone do something until they are truly ready to do it. They might do what you ask initially, but in order to make a lasting change the individual involved has got to be ready to commit to the action him/herself before that change can become lasting. Two examples of this come to mind. I’ve been involved with countless friends and parishioners who smoke. I’ve begged and pleaded with them to stop smoking (especially ones that have serious illnesses that are complicated by their smoking). In not one instance have my pleas for change worked. The smokers had to be ready to quit before they could actually quit. Same thing goes with individuals involved in abusive relationships. I’ve encouraged folks in these relationships to leave their abusive spouses/partners. Once again, the individuals were unable/unwilling to leave their spouse/partner until they were ready. I was reminded of this basic truth as I read today’s passage from Ecclesiastes that talks about there being a time for everything. That passage is a huge challenge for me because it suggests two things that I hate to hear: (1) the time tables involved aren’t mine, and (2) there is a time for things that I wish wouldn’t happen (i.e. “a time to destroy”, “a time to part”, “a time to let go”, and “a time for war”). All of these statements are brutal reminders that life isn’t about me. Today, many of you might be tempted to sit down and create a long list of resolutions for the New Year in hopes that you can force it to be a time to make some of these long-delayed behavioral changes. In a few days or weeks, however, you might become frustrated by how many of these resolutions have already fallen by the wayside. If that’s been your pattern over the years, instead of putting all of your energy into creating the list of resolutions; spend some of that time in prayer and discernment asking, “Is this the time for me to … [and you can fill in the blank here for youself].” Til next time…
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