Today’s Readings: Psalm 150; Isaiah 63:3-9; Luke 12:13-21; 1 John 4:13-21; Psalm 39
Those of you who have been reading my blog for awhile know that I’ve struggled with issues of co-dependency at times in my life. Co-dependency can manifest itself in many, many different ways. It can manifest itself in an individual by making it nearly impossible for the person to say “No” to requests. As a result, a person can become totally overwhelmed. Co-dependency can also manifest itself in such a way that a person’s emotions are not driven by their own thoughts and/or feelings – they are driven by other people. Needless to say, these are some pretty unhealthy ways of being. One of the most troublesome manifestations of co-dependency can show itself in the form of never giving voice to one’s own true thoughts or feelings. A person might be angry at another over a real or perceive sleight. When asked about it, however, the person might deny that there’s anything wrong. Consequently, the person’s interpersonal relationships continue to limp along in a deeply unhealthy state. So why am I thinking about manifestations of co-dependency today? Well, when I read today’s second psalm, the opening words leapt off the page at me. “I’m determined to watch steps and tongue so they won’t land me in trouble. I decided to hold my tongue as long as Wicked is in the room. ‘Mum’s the word,’ I said, and kept quiet,” the psalmist said – perfectly describing such potentially co-dependent behavior. “But the longer I kept silence the worse it got,” the psalmist admitted, “my insides got hotter and hotter. My thought boiled over; I spilled my guts.” Thankfully, the psalmist broke his or her cycle of co-dependency and finally gave voice to his or her true feelings. Perhaps there is a situation in your life where you’ve chosen to silence your true feelings – thinking it to be best in the short run for either yourself or the other person. By now your thoughts too are probably boiling over. If that’s the case, I would encourage you to take the risk and speak your truth (whether it be to God or to one another person). While things may get a little more complicated in the short run, in the long run such a risk could lead to healthier relationships – with other people and certainly with yourself. Til next time…
Those of you who have been reading my blog for awhile know that I’ve struggled with issues of co-dependency at times in my life. Co-dependency can manifest itself in many, many different ways. It can manifest itself in an individual by making it nearly impossible for the person to say “No” to requests. As a result, a person can become totally overwhelmed. Co-dependency can also manifest itself in such a way that a person’s emotions are not driven by their own thoughts and/or feelings – they are driven by other people. Needless to say, these are some pretty unhealthy ways of being. One of the most troublesome manifestations of co-dependency can show itself in the form of never giving voice to one’s own true thoughts or feelings. A person might be angry at another over a real or perceive sleight. When asked about it, however, the person might deny that there’s anything wrong. Consequently, the person’s interpersonal relationships continue to limp along in a deeply unhealthy state. So why am I thinking about manifestations of co-dependency today? Well, when I read today’s second psalm, the opening words leapt off the page at me. “I’m determined to watch steps and tongue so they won’t land me in trouble. I decided to hold my tongue as long as Wicked is in the room. ‘Mum’s the word,’ I said, and kept quiet,” the psalmist said – perfectly describing such potentially co-dependent behavior. “But the longer I kept silence the worse it got,” the psalmist admitted, “my insides got hotter and hotter. My thought boiled over; I spilled my guts.” Thankfully, the psalmist broke his or her cycle of co-dependency and finally gave voice to his or her true feelings. Perhaps there is a situation in your life where you’ve chosen to silence your true feelings – thinking it to be best in the short run for either yourself or the other person. By now your thoughts too are probably boiling over. If that’s the case, I would encourage you to take the risk and speak your truth (whether it be to God or to one another person). While things may get a little more complicated in the short run, in the long run such a risk could lead to healthier relationships – with other people and certainly with yourself. Til next time…
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Going Crazy in Front of the Mirror
Psalm 39
My life seemed over but what could I do. I kept my silence because I did not want to offend God.
Finally I burst out in anger.
"Remember the great things we have done together. To all who would hear I have testified about your wonderful deeds. But when I turned to see what the next great thing we would do together I saw nothing.
And I could not hear your voice.
My friends want to know where is this God I praised but you were silent. But there is nothing to praise. I must be worthless in your eyes.
You are my God I expect you to lead but you are silent, staring at my worthlessness. I can't stand it anymore."
I turned the mirror to the wall and left that silent room.
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