Tuesday, March 18

Today’s Lectionary Readings: Psalm 71; Isaiah 49:1-7; John 12:20-36; 1 Corinthians 1:18-31; Psalm 110

The notion of letting go in order to gain something – a notion central to Holy Week – is a pivotal part not only of my personal theology, but of my personal experience as well. This idea was beautifully captured in John 12:25. Eugene Peterson paraphrases Jesus’ words here to read: “In the same way, anyone who holds on to life just as it is destroys that life. But if you let it go, reckless in your love, you’ll have it forever, real and eternal” (The Message). Let me tell you a bit of my personal experience of these words. Back in the winter of 1998-98, the life that I had spent 10 years building following my graduation from college seemed to finally be culminating. After a decade of rich professional experiences in the human services field, I took a huge risk and leapt into the political arena to try to affect the systemic changes I felt called to address. At the ripe old age of 30, it seemed to folks around me MY plans were finally coming to fruition. And they were right. There was just one problem. My entire life to that point was organized according to MY plans. Few realized that I was wrestling to reconcile MY plans with another plan that was emerging within me. This emerging plan wasn’t coming from me – it was coming from somewhere else. The only problem in terms of reconciling MY plan with this emerging plan was that they led me in totally opposite directions. My plan, for instance, was all about acquiring institutional power and using it to affect change according to MY understanding. The emerging plan, on the other hand, was about letting go of power and risking marginalization and vulnerability. MY plan was about staying exactly where I was and continuing to nurture my hard-earned reputation in the community. The emerging plan was about leaving everything behind, moving 1,200 miles away, and starting all over. MY plan, in short, was about serving my needs. The emerging plan was about giving my life in service – first to God, and then to others. This emerging plan of course was my call to ministry. Given the dramatic circumstances of the situation I just described, I wish I could tell you that the most difficult decision I ever made in my life was the decision to leave MY plan behind and follow God’s call. Truthfully, however, I can’t say that. I can’t say that because a funny thing happened: the more I listened for God’s call, the easier the decision to follow that call became. In fact, the decision to follow God’s life-giving, life-affirming call on my life became so natural that it eventually didn’t even seem like a decision at all! These past 10 years that I have spent leaving MY plan – my LIFE – behind and embracing God have been an amazing realization of Jesus’ words: “If you let [life] go, reckless in your love, you’ll have [life] forever, real and eternal.” Are there areas of your life where you are still holding on to life – YOUR life – in ways that are ironically destroying it? If so, in this season of letting go, I invite you to let go and get a taste of this resurrection life for yourself – not just in the hereafter, but in the here and now as well. Til next time…